


Breaking Point

by ErinWantsToWrite



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angry Marinette Dupain-Cheng, BAMF Marinette Dupain-Cheng, She's had ENOUGH, Tired Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Trigger Warning- panic attack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2020-07-09 19:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19892917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinWantsToWrite/pseuds/ErinWantsToWrite
Summary: I wanted to scream, to throw something, to do anything that lets me get rid of this anger that's infecting and knowing at me. I wanted to get mad, and I wanted to cry. I know my class is yelling at me, people that are supposed to be my friends, but all I hear is the dull sound of their voices as if I'm underwater and a loud ringing in my ears and finally I just have enough and-"Stop!"-Marinette Dupain-Cheng wields the Ladybug miraculous, that has some side effects.She's just... tired.





	1. Chapter 1

I can't _breathe._

I haven't had a panic attack in a long time. I almost forget to ground myself, it's been that long. Five things blue, four things red, three things yellow, two things purple... one thing orange. 

My neck feels itchy, I can't stop scratching at the base of it. I can feel the red, raw skin underneath my fingers. My head spins, trying to get back to where it should be. But my body feels heavy and unsupported. The sensation is a bad kind of familiar, but a tad bit lost to me. I haven't had an episode since... since I became Ladybug. Oh, I got close to it, yeah, but this... It feels like when I first had one. My senses are dull, but sharp at the same time. I can hear the sink dripping water and the door I'm leaning on creaking but I can't feel my feet. 

I take a few deep breaths, counting in my head. 5...4...3...2...2... no... 2...1...

I bite my lip, my hands shaking almost too much to scratch the itch at the base of my neck. Steel yourself, Marinette. You can't lose it here. You have to calm down. You can't let Hawkmoth see you like this. Calm yourself down. 5...4....3....3... I messed it up again... 5...4....3.....2...1. There. Deep breath. Now let it out.

With shaky hands and an overwhelming feeling like my head is too light, I finally manage to feel the ground underneath my feet. The world stopped spinning. That's good.

"...Marinette?" 

Tikki's small voice breaks through to me, and I bite back tears. She can't see my face from where my purse is near my hip, but I don't want to cry.

"I'm okay now, Tikki. Thanks for giving me some space." I whisper. 

I feel Tikki's small head press against my arm, and I take a calming breath. "I'm okay now."

"Maybe you should skip class today."

That's what had brought me here. I was trying to avoid everyone, as I could feel that there was something they wanted to talk about. I was also overcome with the feeling that everyone was watching me, waiting for me to mess up. I don't understand why they suddenly changed on me overnight. Did I do something yesterday to make them mad at me? Did I forget something, a birthday? The urge to itch at the spot on my neck came back. I force myself to keep my hands down at my waist.

"I have a test I can't miss today." I say, looking in the mirror. The spot on my neck is visible above my collar bone, the red skin looking unnatural next to my usual paler skin tone. My eyes are a little red. I run some cold water in the sink and grab a paper towel. "If I miss it then Bustier will call my parents. There aren't any make up tests for this one, only if an akuma attacks and, y'know, that wouldn't really be ideal anyways. I'd have to fight it and would have to take the test." 

"Can't you ask your teacher for a make up? Tell her you're feeling sick?" Tikki's tone is worried. I dap my eyes with the wet paper towel to reduce the redness around them, then start dabbing at the red spot until it's just a little pink.

"No, I have to take it today. I'll just... pretend to fall asleep after the test, and they'll leave me alone and hopefully whatever was bothering them will go away." I know it's too good to be true, but I still wanted something to hope for.

"Marinette..." 

"I know." I feel like my throat is closing on me. "I know. But I... I can't face them, not on a bad day. An akuma I think I could handle, it's just that methodical for me at this point, but facing my friends is... it's so unpredictable, and it makes my skin itch." 

"I'll be with you the entire time." Tikki says in a strong voice. "I'll kick their behinds if you want me to, I don't even care about your secret identity! No one messes with my Marinette." 

I giggle softly. "Thanks, Tikki." I turn back to the mirror. "I guess I don't look too messy. Let's head back to lunch."

I leave the bathroom with Tikki presses up against my leg inside my purse for reassurance. I try to make myself look tall by standing up straighter.

I couldn't handle the staring. They were all mad, I can tell. But for what, I had no clue. But their anger was festering around me and I needed to escape. Even Alya, who usually just says when something is bothering her, was acting as if I wasn't sitting next to her. I could feel her anger radiating off of her, and I that was when my panic attack was forcing itself up. I had left to use the restroom, and it all came crashing down. 

I know better than this, to let my emotions overcome me. I'm _Ladybug_ for heaven's sake, I can not let panic overwhelm me like this. It's unprofessional of me to let my emotions go out of control, even if I want to let them loose. I need to be better. I need to be _stronger._

I sit next to, but not close to, Alya at the lunch table. Already, I can tell her anger was back when I sat down. I don't say anything, only scooping my macaroni and cheese and concentrating on it instead. I can feel my other hand wanting to itch my neck, but I set it under my thigh to stop it from doing so. I can feel eyes watching me, and they're all from my class. I don't see it on any other classes' faces, only the ones closest to me. Why? What did I do? I want to ask, but I'm afraid that if I ask today, it'll trigger another panic. I can't have that. I need to be strong. 

Something slams down onto the table, catching the attention of my classmates and others. Alya had slammed her hand onto the table, and was looking at me with anger. 

"Are you really going to sit there and act like it didn't happen?" She practically growled at me, and I grip my pants leg to keep hand from shaking. 

"I-I don't know-"

Alya laughs, but it's hollow and mocking. "Yeah, you don't know." Alya glares at me, and I feel my chest getting tighter. "I thought you were my friend, but what you said really hurt everyone's feelings. Why can't you understand that?" 

I..

"What?" I whisper, and she stands up quickly. 

"Don't act like you don't remember!"

"I-I-I don't-"

"Alya's right, Marinette. You hurt everyone, and you weren't even an akuma." Juleka's voice cuts in. 

"Yeah, I mean, who says stuff like that? I thought you actually cared about us." Rose looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"When-"

"Yesterday after school!" Alya yells, and I flinch back from her.

I wasn't... 

"I was-wasn't at school yesterday." I feel my hands shaking, and I try to focus on my words. "I had a cousin over and we were at my house all day."

"Bullshit! We saw you! We were all there! Don't lie about it!" Alya points an angry finger at me. "You're a liar and a bad friend! You need to apologize!"

5, 4, 3, 2, 1- 5, 4, 3, 2, 1- 5, 4, 3-

More of my classmates begin to speak.

"You said Max was just a social freak who couldn't talk to others normally-"

"And you called Juleka a bad luck charm"

"And you said that Alya was nothing but a wannabe journalist, when you know how hard she works."

"You..."

"And you..."

"And you..."

Stop.

"You really need..."

_Stop._

_My head aches, and the room feels dizzy._

_Stop. Please._

_I can't breathe._

I want to scream, to throw something, to do _anything_ that lets me get rid of this _anger_ that's infecting and gnawing at me. I want to get mad, and I want to cry. Their voices fade in and out and all I can see is a blur. I shut my eyes tight and put my head on the lunch table. I _know_ my class is yelling at me, people that are _supposed_ to be my friends, who are supposed to trust me, but all I hear is the dull sound of their voices as if I'm underwater and a loud ringing in my ears and finally I just have enough and-

"Stop!"

I shriek, and glass comes shattering down on everyone. Screams echo around the lunch room, and people duck down. My skin feels like it's on fire. I try to breathe slowly but all that happens is they get quicker, more desperate. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. The light is too bright. My skin hurts. Someone help me.

A hand touches my shoulder and I jerk away from it. _No don't touch me don't touch me don't touch me_

I squeeze my eyes shut and try to stop. I can't feel anything but fire. It's all over my skin. Put it out. Someone put it out.

"She's gon… hurt herself!" Voices mumble- no- they're loud. Loud? No- quiet- no loud. They're _loud._ Why? Why are they yelling? Please just make it stop. Make it stop make it stop make it stop-

I can suddenly breathe. I gasp at air and feel it rake through my body. My head is clear, and my skin- my skin hurts. I look down at my nails. No blood this time. But my skin is probably red with the itching and scratching. I can feel the ground under me isn't spinning. 

I look up, clearing my eyes of tears. The class, me, and a wall between us. A dark red wall, glittering in the sunlight from the broken windows. 

"Is she an akuma?" A dulled voice asks. It's Nino, who had remained silent until now.

"I didn't see an akuma butterfly. Did you?"

"Marinette, are you okay?" A new voice came through. "What is _wrong_ with all of you!? What did you do!?"

Adrien.

Alya is pressed up on the glass, trying to move it. "Shut up Adrien! You didn't hear what she said to us yesterday!"

"You mean what the akuma said yesterday!? That was Avenger! Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated her last night!" Adrien yells, panic and anger mixing in his voice. 

Oh.

The akuma. 

It had just been a simple fight. The akuma was strong, and wasn't that smart. All they could do was tell you things you didn't want to hear. I had almost forgot about it. It was just a simple fight.

"What? That-" Alya stumbles on her words. "But-"

"Marinette? Are you alright?" Adrien turns to the glass, staring above me. Can they see me?

"Where'd she go? What even is this?"

I watch Alya press against the glass to move it, but it stands strong. Nino tries also, but to no avail.

"Marinette, don't freak out." Tikki's voice said. I stare at her. "This is just what happens to the Ladybug holders... if their emotions get out of control, things can break... or... this can happen." She gestures to the glass wall. "You put this up to protect yourself from what was happening, but you didn't mean to. It just reacted. it will pass eventually."

"Marinette, please say you're alright!" Adrien yells through the glass. He goes to press his hand against it, but his hand slips right through. Appalled, the class look at Adrien, then pathetically mimic his actions, with nothing happening.

"Get out of here and go find Ladybug and Chat Noir to get the akuma."

"But Adrien-"

"Go!" He yells, and Alya glares at him.

"That's my friend in there-"

"The friend you just did this to? You're supposed to be a journalist who focuses on akumas and Ladybug, but you failed at _both_ and now Marinette is _akumatized_ because you didn't have all the facts." Adrien glares at her, daggers in his usually kind eyes. It's my fault. If I wasn't such a baby... "Get out of here."

The class moves back, and files out of the room quickly. Adrien looks back at the glass.

"Tikki, what do I do?" I whisper, heart pounding. He'll know now. The secret will be out, and Master Fu and Tikki will be disappointed. Master especially. She's supposed to be Ladybug, unfazed and strong. And she wasn't and now she failed-

Tikki falls into my hands, close to my heart and stopping my thoughts.

"It's okay. You need someone to know. You need someone, Marinette. Let someone save you this time."

Adrien walks into the glass with his eyes shut, and I bend myself down to rest my forehead on the ground, a sob shaking my body. _Let someone save me this time._

"Marinette!"

Warm hands hold my shoulders. Panic makes his hands shake too. "Marinette, are you hurt?"

With Tikki's word's echoing in my head, I can't stop the flood of tears. 

I manage to sob out, "I can't do it anymore. I can't do this."

His arms wrap around my shoulders, and I rest my head on his shoulder, sobbing into the crook of his neck. I don't hug him back, but I lets him hold me. Emotions roll over me one by one, confusion, recognition, sadness... until I can pull back, no longer crying. Adrien stares at my face, his eyebrows furrowed with worry. I don't look like an akuma, and I'm not acting like one, so he must be confused. Normally, this contact with him would make me pass out, but now, all I feel is tired from worry and stress.

I can feel my kwami's weight in my hand. 

"I'm always... always trying to keep myself- from- from- from _feeling_ \- because what if Hawkmoth makes-makes m-m-me hurt my friends?" Adrien is at a loss for words, he simply waits for me to speak, confused. "but I can't _do it_ anymore. I can't stop m-myself because it just... _builds_ _up_ and I feel like I can't _breathe_ \- and -and now I'm having panic attacks again, and I can't- I can't..."

"Marinette...?" He asks warily, after my silence becomes deafening.

"I can't do it alone anymore." 

"I..."

"Adrien, _I'm Ladybug_." 

Confusion. Recognition. Understanding. Something... different. Something I can't name. All emotions running around in his eyes, piercing though me.

"I can't hide it like this. I can't keep going like this- I feel like I'll _break_ if I keep pushing myself." I look down at Tikki, which alerts Adrien to the presence of the kwami. He has yet to say anything. "I need someone to know. ..I... wouldn't do this to you if I didn't think I could do it on my own anymore, but _someone_ needs to know." The lump in my throat makes it hurt to talk, but with Adrien keeping his hand on my shoulder, I relax. "I wanted to tell Chat... but it's all so _confusing._ " 

Adrien's hands moves up to my face, and I now look at him. He has tears in his eyes. His green, sad eyes.

"I'll be here for you, Marinette." His voice is laden with sadness, guilt... something that makes my heart hurt. He wipes his tear away from his cheek. "I'm sorry I didn't notice before, how much you were suffering." He cups my face with both hands, holding me not like I'll break, but just like he'll catch me if I were to fall.

"I'll never let you down again. I promise you."


	2. Adrien

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His head is reeling.
> 
> Ladybug- Marinette- How could he?- And the class?- Oh how many times- He totally asked Ladybug for help with another girl??- And- All of this-
> 
> He needs to calm down.
> 
> 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in a different POV so the third person is on purpose! Also, sorry for taking so long on the update, I just got caught up in senior year activities that I had no time!

Never in his life would he have guessed... no. He has, he's guessed before. It seems that she's just that good at hiding it. 

His heart hurts when he looks at Marinette, who's cheeks and eyes are red from crying and rubbing away tears. His shirt is covered in tears also, but he doesn't mind. He just knows that he needs to support her. That's what they are.

Even without the love he feels for her, he will always support Marinette Dupain-Cheng with every part of him. She's brilliant, and kind, and hopeful, and everything about her screams leader. Her everything shouts Ladybug, shouts Hero! Hero right here! So he knows he should have seen it sooner. Though...

His head is reeling.

Ladybug- Marinette- How could he?- And the class?- Oh how many times- He totally asked Ladybug for help with another girl??- And- All of this-

He needs to calm down.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

He pulls Marinette closer in for a hug. "Chat Noir would totally understand, Marinette." He hears her sniffle, and can't help but smile. "How brilliant you are. I never would have guessed. Well, sort of guessed before. It's kinda hard to miss how much of a hero you are." He laughs, and his heart leaps up- like it usually does with Marinette and Ladybug- at the sound of her laughter at his shoulder.

"Really?"

"Oh yeah." He nods. "What's your little friend's name?" (He recognizes he shouldn't know what a kwami is.)

Marinette leans back again, the kwami floating up to her cheek. "This is Tikki."

Of course, he's seen her before, during the kwami swap, but he's already decided that Marinette doesn't need any pressure of revealing herself to Chat Noir in an untimley manner. Tikki gives him a lasting look, one that he smiles at kindly.

"Nice to meet you, Tikki. I'm Adrien."

"Oh I know."

Marinette squeaks. 

"I know everyone in Marinette's life. You just don't know that I know."

Adrien snorts. Yeah, maybe all kwami's are a little sassy. Maybe it comes with being alive for thousands of years. 

Knocking alerts them all to the class' presence. Marinette's grip on Adrien's hand -when had they..?- tightens, and she looks to the ground.

"Hey, we'll figure a way out, Marinette. And they'll apologize as soon as this is over. Tikki? How do you suppose we end this?"

Tikki coughs, and bristles at the two looking to her. 

"There's... a simple solution, that only I can do..." She says, glancing at Marinette with worried eyes. "It won't effect anyone in our little box here."

"What is it?" Marinette asks, her voice a little coarse. His eyes keep looking her over, taking in her features like he hadn't... before... No...

Adrien can't help but hide his blush. Somehow? There wasn't any difference in how he looked at Marinette than he usually did. He was looking at her like he looked at Ladybug this entire time. Only now that he knows they're the same person- Oh wow. He's had a crush on Marinette this entire time.

"We erase everyone's memories." 

That snaps him back to attention.

"Wait what?"

Couldn't have put it better himself, M'lady. What is she talking about?

"It won't harm them. But I can erase their memories of- well, replace their memories. Basically, today, where they saw you at school, will be replaced with the memory that you two weren't at school, you were at home. They'll... they'll still have their feelings from before but..." she looks at Adrien. "I think having someone with you this time will be better. No one will remember that this happened. And it won't hurt at all."

Marinette stares at the wall, and Adrien looks towards the class behind it. They all look worried, and guilty. Shameful. They think she's akumatized, and no hero has shown up to help their classmate and friend. Sure they're mad, but once they realize that it was an akuma, they'll apologize. 

Because that's what friends do.

At least, that's what he's learned from them.

"Marinette, are you okay with that?" He squeezes her hand tight, holding it to his chest. "Your identity will be safe. I'll make sure of it. But you also need to know..."

He presses her hand to his cheek, smiling. "I will never, ever, let you down again. I've trusted you and Ladybug equally this entire time I've known you. I hope you can trust me too."

Marinette's eyes would water if she hadn't already cried them away. She nods, her pigtails bobbing up and down with her. The red light that the box gives off makes her eyes stand out. 

"Alright." She whispers. "I can do that."

He smiles at his Lady. "We can do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you guys be interested in a last chapter for the night time and the next day?


End file.
